You Belong Here

how-to-build-confidence-through-meditation.jpg
Even on nights that won’t depart
Yearnings that know no gratitude
When love leaves
A peace spring from the floors of my stomach
A gentleness that subdues the restlessness of my heart
Blames for the past, loathe of the present and caution for the future
I hear a small voice, far away
Whispering affirmations
“You belong here”
Silence
“You were meant to be here”
Silence
“You’re complete”
Rising tempo
“You’re not crippled”
“You’re whole”
“You’ll live to testify of the glory of submission”
“The wreckage behind is made anew”
“The fire within sparkles with assurance of greater possibilities”
“Your racing heart leaves an indelible track of health, no illness can ever erase that”.
Slow pace
“You have a past, yes, your presence troubles you, yes”
Silence
“Just smile”
“He who made you, laid a fortress around your heart. It won’t stop beating till your empire is built to completion”
Silence
Deep breath in
Out…
close your eyes; see the beauty within
See the tranquility within
As within, so without.
*meditationchnicles*

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Tears

Don’t be worried when I shed tears. Be worried when I stop.
When I shed tears, it means I’m dealing with it like a man should. when I stop it means my system is broken, it can shut down any minute.
#MindMyMind #M3Movement #MentalHealthKE #MHAW2017 #MentalHealthAwarenessWeek2017kwajwa.jpg

Scripted Anew

chained
Forget about pain and pleasure
Forget about right and wrong
I know no difference
I haven’t had both
It’s like destiny is one hell of a monstrous dictator
Who chains and tortures his subjects
Till they grow numb; to pain or pleasure or affection
I have been here too long
And though it can’t pass for a home
It is all I know
So I’ll write some more
About chains
Fastened on anchor and cast in the sea depths
About life in apathy and lungs lifting chests for that gulp of air
About deafness of friends
And blindness of family
About emptiness within
About lies I’ve told to prove I’m just alright
Today I’ll change the script
I’ll write my own
Riddled with bitter truths
For he who needs direction
Must tell of his true destination
I’m broken, Lord, fix me
I’m lost, please find me
I’m worthless, create me anew
I’m lonely, be a friend

Bruises and clots

We will fight again tonight
Like we always do when liquor fills the receptacles of our souls
My spirits will be on vacation
With reason and gentleness as escorts
The love we’ve been weeding all these years will melt into blood under fumes of fury

Whose blood will it be?
I pray it be mine
The kitchen floor hasn’t regained its lustre
No more pints for you

I also pray the neighbours will mind our business
Save you from me
And me from the law
I hate fights
But I love make-up sex

I love how we grow tender with each other
Even before the bandages leave our wounds
In the midst of it all; the blood, the swearing, curses and regrets, remember I love you

In my own strange way

I love your sad moments and your happy days too
I love your torn lips, your bruised face, bloodshot eyes
I love your limping feet
For in these moments of darknes
When beauty vacates
Kindness grows
Generosity takes root
And we love more than the promise our looks sculpted

We will fight tonight baby
Let’s fight even harder tommorow for what shall remain of ourselves

Love Thyself

Everyday is battle
Every battle is a chance to conquer
We rise to win love
That which we owe ourselves
Self love is what we need; forget acceptance
Find it in dark alleys
Find it in lonely nights
Let it grow big enough to fill your trinity
That no space is left: for suicidal thoughts to roam
For conformity to sprout
For depression to take root
For standards to rate you
Give a little there, give a little here and reserve more love for yourself
For love comes to those who love themselves.

Good Evening Friend👋

I’ve Found Home

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I’m not okay, but it’s all fine. I’m not okay but don’t tell me I’ll be fine.
I am broken, and I’m not asking you to mend me, just to help me find the part of me I lost. You’re the candle to illuminate my darkest hours.
Even a crooked stick can draw straight lines; it all depends on the hand that holds it.
Fireflies trek my mind no more, the poison within killed the antidote now my mind is a mouldy can of dead worms.
But this stench is all I know. This darkness is all I am.
You say depression is a creation of losers who’ll blame everything but themselves for their weaknesses.
You say depression a loser’s mind-set.
But you can’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins.
Don’t tell me the cloud will be up for a while; you know nothing about missing the sun even when it shines.
Shoulders drooped in humiliation,
Tears streaked visage,
Backs bent with guilt,
Eyes frozen with fear,
You know nothing about the life I live
The battles I fight
The haunting past
A future I dread
You know nothing about the breathes that choke
So bask in the comfort of your privileges
And leave me alone
Yes, I said leave me alone
I’ve found home in this darkness

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