The faceless ones

The faceless ones are bigmouthed
They talk too much
They believe it compensates for their faceless statue
The faceless ones visit when I’m out
Bringing all sorts of stories
Like a net cast in the sea
They net truths and lies alike

They are devious and cunning
They have razor-sharp memory
They know all the girls I have dated
Some that I have forgot
Some that only came once
Some that I chewed ones
And the more that I’m yet to chew

My wife is on top of news
She knows who I am
She knows the faceless ones are right
And I am as guilty as charged

The faceless ones have told her
That Nyambura and Kanini fought
Each swearing that they knew me full length
They told her that Anita’s bra got torn
When they fought with Adhis at the balcony
They told her how the police hand-cuffed me
And bundled me in Mariamu
Simply for keeping a school girl
Who was too deep for her age mates

The faceless ones didn’t stop there
They told her that I once stayed
Indoors for weeks
Nursing an oozing genitalia
After eloping with the village girl
That I sent packing after a week
They still believe she gave me Jakom

The faceless ones told my wife
That I’m worse than walking dead
They said that women are my office
Because I am adept at working in them
That is the only occupation
That I thrive in

So my wife heard them
Faceless ones gave her a voice
She asked me if we should be tested
I said she hasn’t give me reasons to doubt her status
She looked at the roof, fidgeted on her seat
And almost in a whisper she said
“I wish I could tell you the same”

And I left her there still mumbling
If only she knew what I’m afraid of!
No one will prick my fingers again!

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