No Resolutions for 2018

Early this year I had a stint with a lady who kept telling me that I’m too hard on myself. I didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, didn’t party, didn’t bet, didn’t …my guard was always on duty, never down. We were not in a relationship, I didn’t own her, she didn’t own me, we just kind of made an unspoken vow to be present for each other whenever testosterone hiked.
I enjoyed the simplicity of the game; there were no entitlements, Just shaky expectations, longer erections and fleeting orgasms. Man, for all the yearnings it felt good being laid by an adult–on birth control.
My routines changed and so was hers, we spent more nights awake and more days lost in lust or nursing our tired genitals. Those were the days I could spend 24 hours in my single room naked. We ate and snacked sex. Nights became shorter and so were the days. In no time, the good boy that vowed never to smoke a thing got his first puff of weed and more followed. In short, my 2017 resolutions lost meaning in January.
I made amends quickly, and today 2017 is one of those years that have brought me immense blessings. I won’t list any here though. I made resolutions that I haven’t accomplished, some were silly af, some were too obvious and some just plain boring. I might not be proud of how the year began, but I’m grateful I met someone who taught me how to let my guard down. As crazy as it sounds, I’m thrilled I did stuff I swore I’d never do. Life is too short to follow routines, too short to keep it together, too short to be a perfect son, too short to be a role model, too short to be sober all the time. So even as 2018 approaches, I won’t make any damn resolution, I just want to live as wild as life was meant to be; smoke a little, read more books, make more enemies, sleep more, slap my landlord with a whole year rent, dance more, scream more ( in this life try hard not to be my neighbor) and just be a little bad, you know, I’ve gotta find something to be forgiven for.
My advice to you as you enter 2018 is to do something that freaks you out; something as odd as having a quickie backstage 5 minutes to your cue in a play you’re the main act! Feel the rush, the dum dum in your chest. Yes, remind yourself, you are only human. Happy New Year folks.
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10 thoughts on “No Resolutions for 2018”

  1. Really like that line about needing to be given for something. So very true. Besides, people who have no vices are not real, too controlled. Discipline is good. Rigidity is not. Great post. For the record, no resolutions here either.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Funny, I also said fuck New Year’s resolutions and now I stopped drinking, because I felt like it. I think the most important thing is to listen to what you need right now, even if that means sometimes ingesting a little poison.

    I don’t know why I haven’t followed you back yet, probably because I couldn’t make the time to read through your stuff yet. Done now. I really like your poetry!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello LunarPoet, you don’t how thrilled I am to have you here, I put snippets of my thought here, though I have been away from the blogosphere, but, I intend to pick it again with consistency.

      About Resolutions, I just let everything fall into place, things are beautiful when they happen without coercion. Thanks for love.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Been there… Once I was forcing myself to write one poem each day. It went well, until I started losing sleep about it, because I was pushing myself too hard. It’s all about finding the right balance or eventually your writing might suffer I guess. Looking forward to reading more from you. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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