It’s cold. My balls have shrunk that I need my glasses to see them.
I just woke up. I feel weary and drab, but my balls are okay.
There is this thing we call sibling rivalry, Well, we never suffered from this disease in our family. We were more collaborative, so most of the time we got neck-deep in shit as a family. In fact, we suffered from a more powerful disease, It’s commonly known as sibling thievery!
My sister June Nyawade and I stole a lot of small things (note that ‘small things’ doesn’t mean we were cleptomaniacs) we stole useful things like maziwa, chapat, mandas, miksi and honey too. you see stealing these small things and getting away with it gives one a very addictive adrenaline rush, we started simple. we were just exploring our abilities and stretching our realities a bit but soon it became a game.
Being that my sister spent most of her days in the boarding school, I was left to exploit these opportunities at home alone. My favorite days were when father came home from Kisumo with two polythenes full of shopping, there would be honey, miksi, goldband and some other sweeties I have since forgotten what they were called…YOu see, I was no thief I was just taking liberties with things I was entitled to, It was the time of serving that I didn’t approve of, I was no thief I was just impatient.
It so happened that one day, I had come from school for lunch, as mama was busy in the kitchen I took my sister Dorcas, then still a baby to her crib but I didn’t stop there..I walked to the door and called mama twice just to make sure she hadn’t followed me.
‘Aaaan’ mama itikaad
At this point you have to be very creative
‘Nyathini pek manade kawuono yawa’
‘hahahahaha kwani ikia ga ni ng’at manindo pek’
‘ooyo mama afwenyo kawuono’
‘tim piyo, ilokna rombono kapok idok sikul’
Having made sure that the disciplinarian was busy, I hopped into her bedroom and opened the kabat..2kgs of Miksi just stood there waiting for me…my ooh my…no spoon! what do you do? cup your hands and do the scooping-licking, scooping-linking and then baang the bedroom door opens…and then history! I went to school without taking lunch…
From that day henceforth I swore not to indulge my impatience in absence of my accomplice, so when she came back we pulled the mother of all thieving.. we drank all the milk we were given to boil..when mama came back she found us very busy teaching Lucy some manners..Lucy was once a faithful cat, dare we call this corruption? Lucy was just a Josephine Kabura, the Waigurus were the ones ripping it’s skin off now..
‘yawa pakanani tinde osechako kwelo yawa’ is all mama said!
I know June Nyawade will say this is a lie
I also know That I have just fooled you!
I am the one whose presence is noted by perpetual absence of silence. should they call me siren?
It’s been long since I saw a woman worth putting pens to paper for, a woman worth every stain the pen leaves on a paper as it glides on it in the name of ink. I am talking beauty. Not beauty potentiated by unnecessary meat exposed and lips stained with cheap lipstick. Not beauty achieved by doctored boobs and hips pumped with myriad injections of silicon. Neither Am I talking of beauty sandwiched between multiple clothing of behind nor beauty trapped on ears burdened with heavy metals in the name of jewelry. I am talking raw beauty.
I had just come from a meeting, no a debate that was successful despite disappointing absence of the expected attendees. The dusty road had got the better of me as I had to trek from Kariobangi to roundabout to catch a mathree to my hood. In my hoodie and timberland avunjas the dusty road was the least of my worries. But still that wasn’t what I thought of as cool, the dusty road was not appealing but the constant harassment by the touts who operate Makadara bound matatus was worse. These people have no respect; they are goons to be exact. They are very touchy. They will not only touch you but will literally pull you away in a bid to convince you to board their vehicle. It wasn’t funny seeing a woman old enough to be my grandmother almost getting ripped apart by these nincompoops. They treat people like items of trade; some avocado on a groceries shop and all may get out of hand if the ‘item of trade’ is a young woman laced with ounces of beauty. They love everything sumptuous. such a woman will have to put up with two things, the uncalled for body pressing in the most treasured parts and the sickening sight of chocolate ads in the name of teeth, how they smell mfff! I wonder why they always bring their mouths closer to your nose in conversations.
After few confrontations by the touts I manage to free myself but they are philanthropic enough to lend me mouthfuls of insults as my entourage. The trails of insults kept following me as if they sensed I had insult receptors at my kisogo that they could attach themselves on. At some instant I felt my stomach churn in rage and I was tempted to turn back and glue their lips with one ushi mawash. It’s been long since I did practical martial art lessons. I plan to die with all of me in one piece, having myself castrated in Kamiti maximum prison for killing a mannerless tout is a thought that should never materialize. It would even be worse to be hanged for the same. I want to die of obesity someday. I said obesity and nothing slim. Not even malaria should come between me and that dream. Nyaka atho ka achwe githuon. Donge?
The 15 minute walk left me exhausted but I was just in time to catch a D bound mathree. I got in and secured a seat closer to the window. Just then a woman got in. what a creature! She had it all, a beauty that could not be hidden even by the thick dust that laced her feet. What would such a beautiful lady be doing in rounda? Her eyes were floating on melted vanilla flavored ice cream and for once I thought if she ever cried, her tears would be wild honey. Some people sit and sleep on gold and still mine it in other people’s minefields for meager pay. I bet she can live on her tears alone. I do not know much about fashion but I would tell you that her full dress fitted her perfectly. She was divine. Yes so divine and the calmness that ensued in the matatu after her entry was the silent whispers of her serenity. Wait a minute does she want to sit next to me? Yeah your guess was right!
For the first two minutes I kept silent wondering if I was too brief with my answer when she said hi to me. And the hand why did I let go of it so quick? Such are the hands that every normal man would wish to hold on long enough to emit sweat. Yes sticky sweat of seduction. But I did otherwise something wasn’t just right. I turn to face her only to find her holding a bible, reading something in the book of Ecclesiastes. such a beauty in a matatu reading a bible- the book of Ecclesiastes to be precise is not my definition of mere passenger, Maybe an angel hiding in the beauty of porcelain skin and contrasting dusty feet. Somebody teach me how you tell an angel ‘your beautiful’ without making it sound like a cliché that it has already become to her. Maybe I will find the strength to tell her that next time we meet. She better be reading the Songs of Solomon then, I wouldn’t hesitate to make her my Song. Yeah you heard me right my Song at all costs.