Category Archives: relationship

EX Picked Up

I called my Ex yesterday

But seemingly she had little to say

Just shared how she’s been doing great

And how she’s prayed that I remain sane

This was a disappointment

I thought she’ll never give up her quest for engagement

But as sunshine dries the morning dew

So was her love growing distant with all the venom I spewed

I swallowed my pride and skinned my ego

Bent low, accepted the zero score

Coz I had to tell her the truth

How my heart is hollow within and bruised

I had to tell her…

How she’s a jewel I didn’t know how to value

How foolish I was to mistreat her the way I did

How ungrateful I was then

How my life has been a nightmare without her

How I would like to keep her beneath my tongue

That she’s irreplaceable

But she wanted to hear everything except these statements that to her was only reminiscence of the filthy life she had!

Did she say having me as a boyfriend is a filthy encounter?

I think my ears failed me!

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When puberty crept in

When puberty crept in I began keeping blades

To clear some stuff below the belt

When puberty crept in I stopped being chaste

As every girl who passed Me by I wanted a taste

I even changed my name

And sought fame

Just to impress the dames

Unfortunately all I got was shame

Or what else would you expect with too soon ejaculations?

When puberty crept in I began looking at women in the eye

As if that would speak what I had in mind

When puberty crept in I even changed my way of dressing as I began wearing tight t-shirts

Exposing my muscles

I also had to do much of hustles just to find something to buy them lunch, buy them snacks, shower them with gifts just to entice them to get to my crib.

When puberty crept in I became friends with the mirror as I had to check my face now and then for which pimple to squeeze next.

When puberty crept in I rarely dreamt

But when I did I had to wake up in the midst of the night to change ma pants wet but not with sweat

When puberty crept in

Curiosity went deep

As I marveled to unravel the mystery between ladies’ thighs

I heard that they have a honey pot hidden in the garage of their abdomen

And Boys like me have to locate this honey pot to be men

The thought of this honey pot dominated my mind

But I don’t think I was to blame either

When they told me its taste got better in cold weather

So in haste I wrote my first love letter

To a high school fresher Brenda

Unfortunately that letter was never replied. That was so unfair after all the Shakespearean clichés I had copy pasted in it!

When puberty crept in my nights became long and sleepless, nights filled with sexual fantasies, nights I spent awake thinking about she who had my missing ribs

I tell you the girl of my dreams became my worst nightmare as these sexual fantasies refused to remain in my bedroom but blindly followed me to classroom…and I could do nothing better other than sit back and watch my grades crumble.

Puberty is such a tyrant

Puberty is so shameless

But I thank God I crept out of puberty and am not stuck in it like most of you are

I crept out of puberty and I learnt to respect women not only because they give birth to we men but also because they are the pillars of families

I crept out of puberty and I learnt to treat women with dignity because sooner or later one of them will be a vessel through which my genes will be transported to next generations when I lose this breath

I crept out of puberty and I learnt that there is more to women than the beauty that meets the eye

I crept out of puberty and Proverbs 31 became my criterion for selection of she who would bear my last name.

I crept out of puberty and learnt to value women for something more, much much more than what lies beneath their pants

So to you women, if there is this guy who claims to be in love with you but is in constant pursuit of your honey pot, tell him you know your worth, tell him to grow first and creep out of puberty for until then he wont be able to love you genuinely,

 

For you are worth more, much, much more than what lies beneath your pants.

Where are we going wrong?

Unhealthy relationships have continued to exist despite the fact that we have always tried to avoid the path. Nobody wants an unhealthy relationship and sometimes I find it hard to know why they do exist since nobody has ever willingly decided to be part of an unhealthy relationship.

So what might make a good relationship to go bad? What are the makers of an unhealthy relationship?

To begin with most unhealthy relationships have been fueled by various stereotypes; there are stereotypes that we associate ourselves with that will make it hard for us to view our partners as equals in a relationship. There are patriarchal societies that view women as objects that were meant to be there to serve men, therefore exposing our ladies to inhuman treatment as they are viewed as second class beings. In such a relationship where one partner dominates and the other is the subject of the latter’s decisions it becomes very easy for the seeds of unhealthy relationship to sprout.

Unhealthy relationships are characterized by abuse. The victims suffer lose of morale and self esteem, they may also find it very difficult to initiate another relationship in case they eventually break off the chain.

It would be a lie if I said that women are the only victims of unhealthy relationships, Men have also got much more than their fair share of unhealthy relationships. To make a relationship work you need no muscles unfortunately that’s what most men bring to the game. Husband battery is a proof that men are also victimized in relationships. Some women also lack respect and fail to treat their men with dignity therefore provoking their ego; this is very common in families where women are the breadwinners.

Poor communication between partners also creates unhealthy relationship. So understanding between the partners is paramount for healthy relationships to thrive between partners.

No double coincidence

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, we were trying to find some valid reasons why relationships are becoming quite impossible these days, I love the way her mind works she has a hundred and one reasons to why these days spouses are not glued to each other as it used to be in the past, funnily of all her 101 suggestions only one was valid, at least according to me. she opined that these days women are empowered beings who cannot afford to serve men with such loyalty as our grandmothers did to our grandfathers, they are not as submissive as our mothers were and that is not very healthy to a man’s ego. Provoking a man’s ego is much worse than killing a mosquito that has landed on his balls and therefore he will look for another woman who hopefully will be more ‘caring’ and that woman will be a bond breaker. I believe the biggest problem is that there is rarely a double coincidence, where you love someone and she loves you equally, in most cases one partner will love the other so much to an extent of giving up their carrier for the sake of their lovers but the other party may not even be concerned about matters relationship.

SEDUCING A LADY IN A BIBLICAL MANNER

BOY: Do you have a boyfriend?
GIRL: Nope, i don’t have one.
BOY: Gen 2:18 “The lord God said, it is not
good for a man to be alone, i will make a helper suitable for him
GIRL: “But i don’t love you
BOY: 1 John 4:8 whoever does not love,does
not know God, because God is love.
GIRL: & how do i know you mean those words?
BOY: Mathew 12:34 for out of the abundance
of the hearth mouth speaks.
GIRL: but how can i be sure that you’re loyal&
honest?
BOY Mark 13:31 “heaven & earth will pass
away but my words will never pass away
GIRL: But why me? There are a lot of girls out there
BOY: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble
things, but you surpass them all.
GIRL: But what is in me that you like?
BOY: Song of Solomon 4:7 “you are altogether
beautiful, my darling there is no flaw in you”
GIRL: But I’m not all that beautiful you’re
exaggerating
BOY: Proverbs 31:30 “charm is deceptive, and
beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised
GIRL: What happens if i say yes.
BOY: Genesis 2:24 “Therefore man shall leave
his father and his mother & they shall become one flesh
GIRL: How come you know the scriptures this much
BOY:Joshua 1;8 This book of law shall not
depart from your mouth but you shall meditate
on it day & night so that you may be careful to
do all that is written in it. For then you make
your way prosperous and you will have good
success”
GIRL: Wow, I can see you really love God
BOY: Psalm 34:8 oh, taste and see that lord is
good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in
him.
GIRL: mmm. Ok please give time to think about it
BOY: Philipians 4:8 “finally brethren, whatever is
true, whatever honorable, whatever is just,
whatever is commendable, if there is any
excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise
think about this thing
GIRL: oh I love you already
BOY: Revelation 22:21 “Amen”

SEDUCING A LADY IN A BIBLICAL MANNER