I’ll light another joint

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head needs company
The pain in my chest needs numbing
and the reality is too bright it hurts,
I need a blinder
I want to smoke my memory away
I weighed both of them and the dark ones won
Let me hit this spliff and shut ’em thoughts

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head is overwhelmed
I’m getting back here,
Where faces smile
and voices sing mellow songs
but the wreckage within rusts
eroding the will to live with it
Let me hit this spliff and live, till the next puff

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head is getting angry
Why so many games?
Why so many pains?
Why do good people do bad things to smaller people?
Why do people claim people’s bodies and label them theirs?
Betrayals and lame friendships
Concern, no, I meant curiosity;
You didn’t call because you cared,
muhfaka you just needed the story
Let me hit this spliff and see you for who you are

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head wants to rant
About things that we do that degrade people
Why do we teach kids how to hate?
Why must we bend others to fit in our locked cages?
Don’t we know wild flowers don’t know vases?
Let me hit this spliff and remind myself of what I was before your cages

Ah, the good joint,
don’t you know how to flap your wings!
Let’s fly to a world of our folly
Yes, you can be stupid, it is allowed.

Charred.

Of what good is life when pain is all it brings?
Do you move out when agony knows your address?
When the heart beats in defiance,
And your feet steps with uncertainty,
Will the embers spark a fire?
That life might find a new vigor?
or
Will you bask in the pain of your realities
and hit nails on your casket as worry chars your faith?

What changed?

Somedays, you wake up with bile in your mouth. You feel your tongue doesn’t fit within the confines of your teeth. Or it’s rough. You smell your breath, and it’s nasty AF. Then you remember the old you, that little kid who believed in so much. Yeah, the boy is now a man.

What changed?

War zone

I’m still stuck between yesterday’s tragedies and tomorrow’s promises
Embers of life dying with every passing day
Love life. Live life. Easy isn’t it?
Living in a war zone.
After the battles,
Some clean
Some don’t
So heaving chests breathe brutal bruises
A grenade exploded here
Bullet husks carpet my belly
Been sweeping too long
But years wage more wars against my sanity
God, make me numb, I’m paying the price.

Only Humans

For the wounds we couldn’t heal
For the promises we didn’t keep
For the strangers we didn’t greet
For the pussies we didn’t hit
We are only humans;
bleeding,
cheated,
used,
broken.
We are just as human as the rest of you

Epitaph

I’m here, I’m not.
She was here, She’s gone.
Rocks ground to pebbles,
Then dust,
Then nothing,
—Nothing—

I counted the spaces they left
Huge, huge, huge, gaps loom
So I spread their absences on the floor of my heart
Now this heart won’t dance right
But still, more gaps loom
—Irreplaceable—

Humans are humans
They come in different shades
Same fabric
That which make us animals
And butterflies
They hurt
They heal
The Yin, the Yang
The Push, the Pull
That keep our empires bleeding
In love and in war

Some still fresh, some worn by time
Headstones bearing sorry epitaphs
Of loved ones lost in the earth beneath
‘Lowo rach, lowo kwalo joherewa’
So we light candles, place new wreaths
Bitter-sweet memories we re-live;
A touch of mysticism they plastered on the cheeks of our existence
A generous love they spilt on pages of our destiny
And laughter,
And friendships,
And warmth of bellies on freezing nights.
Memories of breasts we suckled
and Twins we starved—
To death!

Still the hand of time swings
Back, forth
Wringing our souls off guilt
for transgressions against our own—
Sins we committed in absentia.
Still,
We cling,
to body parts we kept!

 

Broken Earthlings

If you took time to look, you’d see that artists are a very broken lot. We take a lot of shit from people who know nothing about being labelled misfits the minute they realize you’re differently endowed.

It is us (the misfits) they call when they can’t figure their lives out, and we sure know how to help them put their lives back on track.

Shoot! Isn’t there a poem for every problem? Doesn’t a song bandage sores in relationships?

We know how to put everything back on track, but our own lives.

We are safety valves for others. Always preaching optimism, love, and sacrifice, but we hold so much shit within. We hate the person in the mirror. we wrestle daily with our demons. We choke on our inequities everyday, but no! you are strong!

Yeah, you are strong, you will write a poem about it. Darkness is the mother of all creativity. You will overcome as you always do!

I’m learning courage to remind ’em that I am a human being. with broken dreams, failures, a dark past, and a hazy future. I also need help, sometimes just to find a missing pair of socks.

Pilfered

Worms have invaded my mind
Nothing left between my ears
Just here tryna love this hollow husk
But love is evasive
I’ll try living instead

Nothing Underneath

Mirror Mirror on the wall, what do you know that I don’t
Tell me, is there anything left in this soul
Is there any life left in this body
Is there honour in my ways?
Coz expectations and realities are worlds apart
And I’m kind of held back by fear that won’t depart
Held back by thoughts of a past
Regrets that leave no pass
Guilt that scotch my soul
I am a burnt offering that gods rejected
So vultures hang around
Waiting for the fire to die down
Before they rip my flesh to shreds
You see that is a part of me
Blood-soaked sand
A libation to the underworld
A cocktail for fresher’s party
My soul swoons with should haves
And should nots
But here souls like mine that figured life out but never lived dance to snores of death
Wishing, Wishing, wishing and praying to a god we never believed in
Just asking for one chance to live and truly live for 1 minute
But I’m no longer in control
No longer the dominant, entitled human
Emotions swish over logic I am a prisoner of self

Yes, that is a part of me
Tear it down to its roots
The spirit was weak so the body indulged
And then, guilt surmised
Please don’t gobble my eyes, I want to see you destroy this body;
A perfect home I couldn’t live in
Trust me I’ve died many deaths before I died
So don’t try to make it easy
I just want to enjoy the moment of loss
To lose it all isn’t the problem
Whom to lose it for is
To leave this body isn’t the problem
Whom to gift it to is
Insecurities plaguing humanity
My heart doesn’t trust its case
So how can I trust you with my body?

Mirror Mirror on the wall, what you know that I don’t?
Tell me about my nakedness, exhume this body I’ve always buried under the tombstones of my smiles and laughter
Tell me about brokenness dancing to drumbeats of fine-how-do-you-dos
See, broken guitar strings tell tales of sweet melodies before the tragedy
So sing me my melodies mirror.
Tell me about weather beaten paths to dilapidated dreams
Tales of despair evicting hope and destitution settling in

(Breath)

Mirror on the wall,
Is there more to this nakedness than a six-inch penis
On a bushy pubis that hangs, throbs and oscillates freely like a bob on a pendulum
It devours thick chicks
In six-inch Prada heels
I lure with cheap gifts
It is a gift
Ninjas won’t stop asking for my cheat sheet
The truth is, I’m gifted at many things
But I’m perfect at self-destruction
Sorry father, I’m not the perfect son you prayed for
But realize between expectations and realities is a graveyard
So many lives rot within
So many dreams lost unlived
So please, congratulate me for just being alive
I can never apologize for self-destruction
What destroys me thrills me
And my kind of freedom is weird
I indulge my addictions like Hindus do chants
I’m leaning to nail my coffin
Exposing the turmoil within
For the world to see
So mirror Mirror on the wall
Is my wreckage beyond salvage?
The mirror stares in silence
Afraid I’ll break it if it dared tell the truth
That there’s nothing underneath

Of Poets and Whores

She’s a girl who’ll be known for her balls
Whoever she encounters she hardens or breaks
She shines with the moon
Arresting the glory of goddesses
My chest heaves at her expectations
Sure, to get laid is a given
But to satisfy a woman is an art
She isn’t your everyday whore
She’s a liberated woman
feigning arrest by hormones
Everything takes shape in her wake
She gobbles my man like a hungry tigress
Yeah she is hungry
She hunts and thrills at her kill
Tonight I’m her prey
She takes her time
A sinister smile spreads on her lips
“This way”
I obey
She rides at top speed then slows down
Then accelerates
Then I die
She’s gone like smoke that leaves no trail
Somebody find her
I swear I would trade my mansion in heaven for the thrill of her ride