Slaves of Self

I’m still finding myself
Discovering what exists
missing what’s gone
To know is to be bare
To scrutiny
fingers gliding over my body
My skin shivers
An enemy traversing
Isn’t it heartbreaking
Losing trust in self
Gather what you scattered
It’s self-destruction
And indulgent spirit
And the cycle continues
Indulge, regret
regret, self-loathe
When desires enslave you
A puppet
remote-controlled by rage
What you stand for tumbles
When ego upsurges

Scripted Anew

Forget about pain and pleasure
Forget about right and wrong
I know no difference
I haven’t had both
It’s like destiny is one hell of a monstrous dictator
Who chains and tortures his subjects
Till they grow numb; to pain or pleasure or affection
I have been here too long
And though it can’t pass for a home
It is all I know
So I’ll write some more
About chains
Fastened on anchor and cast in the sea depths
About life in apathy and lungs lifting chests for that gulp of air
About deafness of friends
And blindness of family
About emptiness within
About lies I’ve told to prove I’m just alright
Today I’ll change the script
I’ll write my own
Riddled with bitter truths
For he who needs direction
Must tell of his true destination
I’m broken, Lord, fix me
I’m lost, please find me
I’m worthless, create me anew
I’m lonely, be a friend

I AM

I’m you when your own heartbeat defies every step you take on the career ladder,
I’m the cancer that ate your mother’s breast when I knew she had twelve kids to be fed,
I’m the conniving spirits that duped your addicted father that rehab is for those trying to quit
I’m the hunger that drove you insane peddling your virtues for a plate of crumbs
I’m the black sheep of the family whose identity has been lost, everyday learning all that I am;all that makes my stomach churn when I see in others.
I’m a hollow casket,my own corpse believes I stink
I am a lost shepherd,
I am prey to alarm chimes reminding me every morning that I’m too small for my age yet too old for my dreams
I am the mess the society created but felt too good to clean,
I am a vestige of all the man I was meant to be