Tag Archives: humor
Morning, it’s a good day to make money, but the balls won’t get out of bed.
What if Babies Came with a Return Policy
If children came with a return policy, most of you couldn’t have lived long enough to spell your names. Parents could have been too empowered to raise any wayward, ill-mannered kid.
You break a glass, return.
You hurt another kid, return.
You steal sugar, return!
I’m doubting if we’d be having new parents in 2020. This whole generation couldn’t have lived. It makes me laugh because most of you couldn’t have known Corona.
Nor read about these balls.
Now, think. Could you have lived?
Or you’re a factory defect?
I woke up with thoughts of loss, but my balls are gaining weight. Yin must Yang.
Don’t try so hard to be genuine. Be random.
Be as random as this plant randomly smoking trees.
Good morning. I’ve woken up motivated and upbeat, and the balls are merrier than yours.
Of balls and a Nairobi woman
It’s sometimes a huge burden to have these balls. I try to love them, and most times, I do. But these marbles can cause stinging pain and misery.
It gets worse when they’re starved. Yesternight, this left one began howling like a lost hyena in the middle of the night. Then the right one joined. The cause of all this mayhem?
A Nairobi woman.
There’s this girl that’s been my friend for a long time. That’s all I wanted from her–friendship. I’ve confided in her so many truths. She knows a ton of stuff about me than none of the ghels I’ve served juice knows.
Damn! This girl has called me in the middle of the night asking if I had taken my midnight snack when she knows I’m the type that eats the meal, the snack, the pudding, and the nyokonyoko yote in one full swoop.
This girl is extremely attractive, but never had I noticed she has a sexual appeal until ’em balls began haranguing me over my blindness tor her beauty.
Now the balls want me to betray our friendship an ask for the osweges. That isn’t the hard part.
The problem is, the balls have now corrupted my thoughts. Everything she does now seems suggestive. Now I don’t only see the friend, I see the woman; nubile and appetizing. I’ve tried to restore my sight to friendship settings, but I see all the things I shouldn’t be seeing.
Walimwes, should I retain the friendship or do as the balls say and ask for her juice?
It’s a busy morning here, but the balls are too excited to sit still. I don’t why.
I’ve woken up feeling fatigued and lethargic, but my balls are okay.
I overheard my neighbour asking Jesus to come now. People are here trying to kill the son of God twice.