Tag Archives: lovers

I’ll Let Go

One day I’ll master enough strength
To spell your absence
And live with the reality
in print

I’ll mask the heart you’ve hurt
This stupid heart that yearns
And aches for the gentleness of your words

Words that would weave an insult into berries
And serve them as thanks
For the travails I put you through

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Never take it for granted

Dear men, Never take it for granted if a woman loves you, especially if she is the type whose door has got knuckles of hundreds of men bleeding but she chose to open only for you

Truth Sucks

She owns her world
She deserves it all
A husband, pretty kids and finances
She reaches out to grab what she lacks
Spreads he thighs to get it in rare proportions
She says how sweet I ‘am
She calls me honey
She told me she felt like she was born anew
After hours of thrusting into her
She licks my ears and gently bites my pinna
Her muffled groans drive me crazy
My strength in bed is something I take pride in
But she takes me to greater heights when she orgasms
She grabs my hair, plunge her nails deep into my back and screams my name
She says no one does it like me
I reach her depths
I goad her edges
Before spraying her insides with wonder sap
We pretend we love
We indulge, losing ourselves
In throes of passion
And truths surface
I’m the missing equation in her marriage
A fruit salad after a lamb chop
And I loathe myself
The worst you can do to a man
Is reduce his existence
To the length of his penis
And how long it can stay before turning flaccid

She was created for others too

I loved sunsets. That is past tense. Ever since you walked out of the door, sunrise and sunset have no difference to me, of what effect is sunshine on a soul so dark without the brightness of your smile? Sure, the sun shines but it was the tilts of your front teeth that reflected the light in right angles to illuminate the darkest corners of my life whenever you smiled.

The sunsets aren’t any better, I stand at the balcony, watching as face of the sun folds in orange wrinkles and all am left with is lethargic feeling, bits of pebbles form in my throat and I choke at my own indulgence in nostalgic thoughts of our past, my waist is yet to forget what it felt like to have your arms around it. Counting birds is no longer a potent therapy to me and the breeze maims my olfactory with your cologne, I don’t know the scent of nature anymore. Echoes of your giggles keep interrupting my meditations, and my mind refrain from focus and tenaciously grip to every detail of the ‘Us’ we were, my meditations turn into fantasies, the silence turns into your whispers, giggles, sobs, hiccups, slithers and muffled moans. I meditate to clearly see my goals, but I see you remove the posts.

I remember we gave each other names, names that were sweet music to our ears, names that assured us that destiny curved a path that only the two of us could tread on. Names that etched love on every corner of my thoughts. But these names now torture me, these names still haunt me. There is nothing more haunting than a name that refuses to die with its bearer, it’s a spirit always hovering, asking questions, pressing charges and worst of all eroding a mind that no space is left for seeds of nothingness to sprout. I want nothing of you. I don’t want to remember you. But how can’t I remember you when everything my eyes latch upon reminds me of you? In the night, I look at the sky, the black canvas that we once drew our love on; the constellations whose beauty we reveled at, the falling stars that serenaded our love every night now mock me. They laugh at the darkness I’ve become. They gossip of how hollow I’ve become ever since you left.

I don’t want to remember you.  The memories of you to me are what a blacksmith’s furnace is to steel, it hurts, it wounds and maims but it curves steel into treasure box sought by royals. I am wondering what your memories are curving me into. I was kind of dyslexic, for how could I fail to read the signs you showed? Most probably you never showed any sign. Ours was a smooth terrain,

Our names spelt love
And the illusion that it was created for us
Barred me from seeing the truth,
The truth; that you were created for others too.

She Unchained Django

There are mysteries you are always yearning to unravel. In most cases you will plan how and when to see beyond what is exposed before eyes and hear what is heard in the mask of the silence of the surrounding. This wasn’t the case, I never knew I would be here in the first place and the thought of knowing her name had not struck my mind even once but here we were- strangers in the night, no were we still strangers? I guess not, after all the unpleasant treats nature had served us together at the fall of dusk; the rain that got us wet to the pants and the mud that sank our feet to the ankles we were more than strangers- at least we were friends, yeah friends who were about to cross a crucial boundary to an island known to many as ‘more than just friends’.

Sleeping in different rooms yet under the same roof with a woman not related to you by blood is quite impossible especially when you are not a victim of hypogonadism. With healthy testosterone levels, a phone on the bedside stool and a mind craving for venture of all things passion, the urge to press call button of impromptu sermon to the woman cannot be easily resisted, to be blunt it is irresistible when the Holy Spirit has refused to pay you homage at such unfaithful hours. I sat upright on bed and scrolled through my phone contacts for her digits. Having got it, pressing the green button become a challenge, my mind got crowded with ‘what if’ thoughts. What if she has slept and can’t pick the call? What if she is not alone in her room? What if she got angry and threw me out into the cold? No I’m not doing this, I dropped the phone on the stool and just then a thought struck me- what if she expected this and I failed her? Won’t that make me gay? Then it dawned on me that whatever I did or did not do at this instant had fruits both bitter and sweet and so I pressed the green button. She didn’t receive the call but hysterically rushed to my room as if it was on fire.

There she stood leaning on the door and watched me as I fumbled for words that could best serve a reason for calling her. Of course I hadn’t called her for a glass of water, I wanted something quite obvious, yeah your guess is right. I beckoned her to come and sit on the bed and she obeyed, all I could say was ‘I thought it weird for us to be sleeping under the same roof yet different rooms’ she didn’t have to speak for me to know she had the same thought. I pulled her arm and laid her next to me, facing me. The innocence in her eyes made me feel the in beast me, what was I really doing? Otoyo ne pok oriwga gi rombo (a hyena and a lamb has never been put together). For a minute I gently moved my fingers through her hair, she smiled I guess enjoying the touch. Fast forward, she sandwiched my lower lip between hers and slipped her tongue in. my heartbeat got faster as her lips caressed mine and for some seconds they got chained in momentary tight embrace.

Lying on my back, she mounted on me, clothes flying in air exposing a porcelain skin hidden beneath and two daring gate keepers of the chestlands. Her nipples prickling my chest sent ripples down me and I felt my Django raise its head. She bit my ear gently; the touch of her tongue on my pinna sent me to an earthly paradise. She moved her hand down the junction and cupped my package as if they were some mangoes on groceries stall, an act that irritated Django. An angry Django is a dangerous buffoon. As her lips glided on my skin I turned her ready to strike having given in to Django’s pleas just then she made an unexpected reaction, she covered her treasure with her left hand ‘we can’t do this’ is all she said, pushed me aside and began putting on her clothes, she wore her pants and stood facing the door, her nightdress in her right hand. ‘Sorry’ she said and walked briskly to the door, opened it and closed it behind her leaving me to burn in the fire she had lit.

Where are we going wrong?

Unhealthy relationships have continued to exist despite the fact that we have always tried to avoid the path. Nobody wants an unhealthy relationship and sometimes I find it hard to know why they do exist since nobody has ever willingly decided to be part of an unhealthy relationship.

So what might make a good relationship to go bad? What are the makers of an unhealthy relationship?

To begin with most unhealthy relationships have been fueled by various stereotypes; there are stereotypes that we associate ourselves with that will make it hard for us to view our partners as equals in a relationship. There are patriarchal societies that view women as objects that were meant to be there to serve men, therefore exposing our ladies to inhuman treatment as they are viewed as second class beings. In such a relationship where one partner dominates and the other is the subject of the latter’s decisions it becomes very easy for the seeds of unhealthy relationship to sprout.

Unhealthy relationships are characterized by abuse. The victims suffer lose of morale and self esteem, they may also find it very difficult to initiate another relationship in case they eventually break off the chain.

It would be a lie if I said that women are the only victims of unhealthy relationships, Men have also got much more than their fair share of unhealthy relationships. To make a relationship work you need no muscles unfortunately that’s what most men bring to the game. Husband battery is a proof that men are also victimized in relationships. Some women also lack respect and fail to treat their men with dignity therefore provoking their ego; this is very common in families where women are the breadwinners.

Poor communication between partners also creates unhealthy relationship. So understanding between the partners is paramount for healthy relationships to thrive between partners.

No double coincidence

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, we were trying to find some valid reasons why relationships are becoming quite impossible these days, I love the way her mind works she has a hundred and one reasons to why these days spouses are not glued to each other as it used to be in the past, funnily of all her 101 suggestions only one was valid, at least according to me. she opined that these days women are empowered beings who cannot afford to serve men with such loyalty as our grandmothers did to our grandfathers, they are not as submissive as our mothers were and that is not very healthy to a man’s ego. Provoking a man’s ego is much worse than killing a mosquito that has landed on his balls and therefore he will look for another woman who hopefully will be more ‘caring’ and that woman will be a bond breaker. I believe the biggest problem is that there is rarely a double coincidence, where you love someone and she loves you equally, in most cases one partner will love the other so much to an extent of giving up their carrier for the sake of their lovers but the other party may not even be concerned about matters relationship.

TAKE MY HAND

As the winds pass through the whistling Cyprus trees,
My heart warms at the mention of your name,
As a Dog loyal to its master I bet I’ll be true to my feelings,
As the heat of the scorching sun gets stronger by the day, so do my love matures.
But wait a minute will you take my hand?
Will you stay when fate conspires with the universe to make life even more unbearable?
Will you ever say ‘I DO’?

Take My Hand
Take My Hand