Tag Archives: weed thoughts

Life and Near-death experiences

If you hear me talking about balls and weed, just know I’ve lived past my time yo. If you’re still entitled to your days you will never relate. Me being alive is one big miracle. I was too experimental with this life yo. I’ve played with my life so many times that it amazes me how far I have kept it.

You know, there are near-death experiences that find you, but others you know deep inside that you dared ’em. When young and restless–when you rely on your balls for intelligence, you never notice. But when you’re old enuff and have enough time to sit down with a good joint, you see ’em.

I once tried to kill a snake by kicking it. ‘Twas around 7pm, we were coming from the market when this lady stood abruptly in front of me. What I didn’t know is that she’d startled a black mamba that was already in a striking pose. I had nothing to combat this bitch, so when it moved to attack, I kicked under its hood. The impact threw it a few metres away and I passed, running.

I was barefoot. It didn’t bite.

I’ve got drunk on paraffin. It should have been weed, but I was a curious class oner with no access to weed. I drank paraffin because a girl dared me. I wasn’t prepared for the effect. Few minutes after imbibing lamp fuel, I was in the kitchen holding koroboi for my grandmother as she cooked ugali, everything was in motion, even the house. And I was feeling really bad that I fell, luckily on my grand. I was shaking, my body was burning. I couldn’t even eat that night. This wasn’t near-death yo, but who drinks kerosine to prove a point?

Around the same time, as if this lesson wasn’t enough, I woke up one day and asked myself so many questions about death and such, I sat right in front of my grandmother’s house facing my uncle’s house. This uncle was a religious one and had the cross sign tattooed pon his door.

Something about that sign and tales of heaven had stirred an overwhelming curiosity about where we go after we die. It was so intense that I wanted to experience it for myself. I had heard rumours that licking battery juice can kill. So I went to the backyard and got some used, leaking batteries.

Before licking ’em, I thought deeply about what I was doing, then remembered that I had spoilt my grandfather’s radio that day and I didn’t want to see him angry because of it. That old man loved us so much, I didn’t want to disappoint him. That, my friends, gave me the motivation to lick ’em batteries, I licked all the juice, then went to sleep waiting for death. I slept, and death never came.

I once sat on a snake and it bled white stuff, looked like chaa mama. This day mama had just bought fresh omena and wiu. She had put them in the sun to dry kidogo before frying them. My job was to keep away chicken, so mi sat on a plank of wood on the veranda, little did I know that there was a snake between the wall and the plank–it wasn’t under the plank. So when I sat pon the blank it moved in and pressed the snake against the wall. I kept hearing weird sounds, kumbe it was the snake struggling to break free, that slithery devil was this close to biting me in the ass when I stood. It was so hurt that it couldn’t move, it’s vertebrae was broken. Damn! that thing could’ve killed me before I knew these balls yo!
You know, we all have such experiences. So why don’t we celebrate these nothings yo?

I’ll light another joint

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head needs company
The pain in my chest needs numbing
and the reality is too bright it hurts,
I need a blinder
I want to smoke my memory away
I weighed both of them and the dark ones won
Let me hit this spliff and shut ’em thoughts

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head is overwhelmed
I’m getting back here,
Where faces smile
and voices sing mellow songs
but the wreckage within rusts
eroding the will to live with it
Let me hit this spliff and live, till the next puff

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head is getting angry
Why so many games?
Why so many pains?
Why do good people do bad things to smaller people?
Why do people claim people’s bodies and label them theirs?
Betrayals and lame friendships
Concern, no, I meant curiosity;
You didn’t call because you cared,
muhfaka you just needed the story
Let me hit this spliff and see you for who you are

I’ll light another joint
The weed in my head wants to rant
About things that we do that degrade people
Why do we teach kids how to hate?
Why must we bend others to fit in our locked cages?
Don’t we know wild flowers don’t know vases?
Let me hit this spliff and remind myself of what I was before your cages

Ah, the good joint,
don’t you know how to flap your wings!
Let’s fly to a world of our folly
Yes, you can be stupid, it is allowed.
WhatsApp Image 2020-05-07 at 9.18.12 PM

What if Babies Came with a Return Policy

If children came with a return policy, most of you couldn’t have lived long enough to spell your names. Parents could have been too empowered to raise any wayward, ill-mannered kid.

You break a glass, return.
You hurt another kid, return.
You steal sugar, return!

I’m doubting if we’d be having new parents in 2020. This whole generation couldn’t have lived. It makes me laugh because most of you couldn’t have known Corona.

Nor read about these balls.

Now, think. Could you have lived?
Or you’re a factory defect?

…..Kush…Good Kush.

Sometimes you find a kush so good you realize you’ve been wasting your lungs with bad weed. You sniff it and the scent so good you can get high on it. The kush so good you inhale and want to hold it till Jesus comes, and when you exhale, it goes with every troubling thought you had.

Yo! this kush must’ve grown pon the lands where gods mate, cause mate, this weed mates with your nerves and lifts your libido for pleasures of life to 9th floor. This weed my friend, is what gave Jonah the guts to defy God’s orders. He couldn’t have survived the fish’s belly. You should try this weed.

Don’t Be Hesitant, Light one up!

We represent the herbs on the podium
The Indicas are short like Napolean
Sativas don’t like too much sodium
The seeds can replace your petroleum
The leaves have a skunky aroma scent
THC makes you feel like it’s heaven-sent
CBD is to me like a medicine
Do some research and you’ll be pleased by the evidence
Perhaps you cultivate some trees in your residence
And agree to disagree with the Presidents
Tell the Prime Ministers please don’t be hesitant
To let the herbs grow and be free!
-Damian Marley, Marijuana.
What the hell is 420 ? | Holy Mary Jane

Roll a Joint

If you have no reason to light one up, please do it for your painful past. Smoke with your pain. Converse with your pain and make peace with it.

Sometimes, it only takes a few puffs of a good joint to see through the fog!

Roll another!

The Origins of 420