Early this year I had a stint with a lady who kept telling me that I’m too hard on myself. I didn’t smoke, didn’t drink, didn’t party, didn’t bet, didn’t …my guard was always on duty, never down. We were not in a relationship, I didn’t own her, she didn’t own me, we just kind of made an unspoken vow to be present for each other whenever testosterone hiked.
I enjoyed the simplicity of the game; there were no entitlements, Just shaky expectations, longer erections and fleeting orgasms. Man, for all the yearnings it felt good being laid by an adult–on birth control.
My routines changed and so was hers, we spent more nights awake and more days lost in lust or nursing our tired genitals. Those were the days I could spend 24 hours in my single room naked. We ate and snacked sex. Nights became shorter and so were the days. In no time, the good boy that vowed never to smoke a thing got his first puff of weed and more followed. In short, my 2017 resolutions lost meaning in January.
I made amends quickly, and today 2017 is one of those years that have brought me immense blessings. I won’t list any here though. I made resolutions that I haven’t accomplished, some were silly af, some were too obvious and some just plain boring. I might not be proud of how the year began, but I’m grateful I met someone who taught me how to let my guard down. As crazy as it sounds, I’m thrilled I did stuff I swore I’d never do. Life is too short to follow routines, too short to keep it together, too short to be a perfect son, too short to be a role model, too short to be sober all the time. So even as 2018 approaches, I won’t make any damn resolution, I just want to live as wild as life was meant to be; smoke a little, read more books, make more enemies, sleep more, slap my landlord with a whole year rent, dance more, scream more ( in this life try hard not to be my neighbor) and just be a little bad, you know, I’ve gotta find something to be forgiven for.
My advice to you as you enter 2018 is to do something that freaks you out; something as odd as having a quickie backstage 5 minutes to your cue in a play you’re the main act! Feel the rush, the dum dum in your chest. Yes, remind yourself, you are only human. Happy New Year folks.
Tag Archives: YOLO
What they say
They say we’re not fit to lead
They say we’re too young
They say we’re sons of nobody
They say royalty is not in our genes
They say 8-4-4 churned out literary dwarfs
They say we are lost
That we refused to see the trail they left us
Did we really see their path worth treading?
All I saw was a bone yard of justice
that corruption and greed got slain
long before my placenta tasted earth
They say our efforts yield nothing
Ours has been termed a lost generation
They say we’re a menace to society
They say our grey matter is dark with addictions
They say we’ll lead tomorrow
When our goals will be more defined
When they shall have paved our way
When our sisters shall have completed
The bedroom courses they sponsor
When our brothers shall have nursed
The gunshot wounds they shot
When our mothers shall have read the last eulogy of our siblings
When our fathers shall have returned to empty homes
with empty hands because they can feed us on empty promises
When the false incitement charges shall have eaten away our cattle shed
When the sheep shall have been driven out of church
But I ask you, what do we say?
What are we?
We Bartered Character with Money
In society today money rules
It speaks, it does
The lesser you have the lesser being you are
The more you have the closer you are to the king
II
We are rummaging in darkness for vanity
Character lost like fart in air, where’s humanity?
YOLO is the mantra, get rich, have lap dances, and get a Lamborghini
Chop heads, drug some, sell your body, snatch wallets or sell your virginity
It doesn’t matter what you do, money is the gauge for vitality
III
It’s either you are rich or not
Societal rules no longer existent
Prostitution has become a taxable profession
Robbery a rite of passage to be bragged about
And corruption a chariot to paradise
Religion mocked as a fear factor and the creator a myth
Of what benefit is it to hold to a faith without wealth?
When that is all you need to buy good health?
III
But can’t we be a little considerate?
Why must we cripple others and blame it on fate?
Why must we kill what we can’t create?
Our moral standards have flatten on gauge
And for inheritance our children‘ve got aggression and not wisdom of age
IV
So we’ve bartered our souls for money
And made it a deity to be worshiped by the society
The world owns us in trinity
Our minds dominated by thoughts of vanity
Our bodies are sacrifices to gods; ‘shapers’ of destiny
And our spiritual beings no longer thirst for divinity
V
But there comes a day we shall have to pay
For KARMA can never be fooled
Sliver of Darkness 