The chief’s daughter is heavy

The chief’s daughter is heavy
The chief’s daughter must be heavy
She has lost the wasp waistline
Her hips have so much widened overnight
And her tummy is shaping like Ohigla
The Chiefs Daughter must be heavy
See how she spits anyhow
Her mood has changed for the worse
As her breasts are getting bigger
But who has done this to Adhiambo?
Could it be the son of Odero
Or that University boy who lives in Kisumo
I heard he was seen here
But nobody could understand him
He swallowed kisungu like jarachar
Who could have known he pounds cunt?
Adhiambo was a good girl
I thought my son would marry her
Ohh poor lad, he lost his chances
When he dropped out of primary five
Now the elders must be called
Jagam must be found
So Adhiambo can be married
Before her ball is too big for the chief’s pitch

Revenge Thrills

Her eyes a pair of ball of fires
Her breath a ceaseless ricochet of revenge
She coils her anger into viral threads
Contagious Venom that leaves faces frowned
Eyes wet, and hearts broken
She’s on rampage
Like an uncaged vampire
Tearing fortresses,
Melting metal bars,
All in a bid to strike!
The fangs are out already
Be warned she’s out tonight

Assumed Dead!

Yesterday was one of the worst days, i’ve ever had….I woke up at 5 am and left for Kahawa for shoot. Even as I left my house and whispered my prayers with padlock in my palms I felt something sinister was impending. When I reached Rounda, I decided to get in a café and break the fast, half-way through the session the producer calls and insists that I have to wait for some two beautiful virgins as they do not know where the shooting will be done…I sat for close to two hours. watching touts fight, assuming beggars do not see me ,scratching my head, licking my lips and blowing my nose. Finally the ladies showed up looking like Mps’ Clandes and the way they initiate their conversations like they arrived 30 mins before you did, do you even get a room to complain? They are the first to spot a mathree plying the route and head for it, I stay behind insisting that we take another vehicle, something in me was against boarding the van but two against one; they win. Little did they know that just few seconds in the van one was to miss her phone. I just heard “ my phone woiyee! please give me back my phone…..its everything I need”…and the son of a bitch just jogged as the touts watched and I could do nothing as well. she cursed, she cried, she felt sore and bitter at everything…….After waiting for hrs for my scene to be shot, shooting ended at about 8:30 pm, my scene not shot still and I come home and this juicy neighbor’s daughter meets at the staircase and smiles and asks me where I had been. She says, “aki tuligonga mlango yako mara mob, tunaona slippers kwa mlango but hatujakuskia ukipiga kelele (we knocked your door sverally, we saw your slippers at the verandar but we havent heard you shout)for the past three days, we thought you were DEAD!” I have been thought of as insane so many times but this was the first time I have been assumed DEAD… Woiyeee is death looming…let it wait a bit, I need to father a dozen kids .

HAIKU

She wanted a star for a lover
I shone so bright laming the moon
Turning her bed into erotica furnace