Nakedness Sn1

My nakedness hangs, throbs and oscillates freely like a bob on a pendulum. My nakedness is oblivious of what you think about it. My nakedness hates darkness but every time it peeps on the outside it’s met by critical eyes and standards that limit how far it can ever stretch. My nakedness goads me in the insides scratching my body, soul and spirit for any viable points of exit. My nakedness is a slave to my constant pursuit of perfection.
My nakedness is no longer willing to remain in my shadow. So today I called my ‘I Threes” to debate on whether to unlock the chains and let my nakedness free as it used to be before I became mindful of what friends and foes will say if they could see the bit I’ve always kept in the shadows.
My body thinks being maskless reveals too much. It says your flaws are to be hidden, your scars are a painful reminder of all the hurt you’ve been through and these thoughts will drag you back into the mess you were before. Ooh look at your thighs, can’t you see the stretchmarks? You want them to see how bogus you were? You want to lose all this beauty just because your nakedness has been threatening you? Ahh don’t be stupid, strangle it, break it into pieces and let it rot in the pit of your stomach. It doesn’t deserve a chance?

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Black Queen

There she was
The black sheep of the class
She neither belonged
Nor felt at home
She was alone in a crowd
She was lonely too

Nobody dared speak to her
So she nibbled her nails
To remind herself of her existence
Or to converse with herself
After all she’s three in one
She too knows the power of trinity

A language she spoke
But none of them understood
Or paid the least attention
Mute and dumb they assumed she was
How language can be so limited to words

And then they beat her
She cried painfully
As tears streaked her visage
The others kept mocking her
And I rose
Sauntered towards her
She came running into my arms
And she sobbed and sobbed
Silence prevailed
And she fell asleep
In a stranger’s arms

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Aged too Soon

Should I say I envied my brother?
Whenever he sneaked you home
When time stood still as you mourned
When the double-decker shook
And every inch you flinched tightened my pants

Did I ever tell you how beautiful you were?
No, not beautiful, just sexually stimulating
That every time I saw you I did an x-ray on you
And had sex with you in my fantasies
No, you could never know that;
My bulge was always concealed
By tight triangular briefs

Did I tell you of the sleepless nights?
When even in your absence
The sheets still smelt of your presence
And the crickets stopped their chirps
As your ‘imetoooosha’ pleas boomed in my mind

Did I tell you of the many nights I dreamt of you?
Only to wake up in sticky sheets around my ass
Ohh shemeji, how I yearned for you
I could have given a pair of balls
Just to hear you mourn my name
Till now the vulnerability in that voice
As it said ‘imetooooosha’ still thrills me

Shemeji how quick the world has beaten you!
It was just yesterday I yearned for you
Today your nakedness can deflate my erection
You’ve aged shemeji. So quickly shemeji

Did you marry a man?
Please do and dump the beast
He’s squeezed the juice of life from your ass
It now sags like peels of skin on the back of a donkey’s balls
Your skin once radiant now a labyrinth of scratches and folds
My old shemeji how the world has beaten you!

Mocking Walls

me-n-recho

The silent nights await the jangle of chains released
My mind is in a clobbered state
Nothing is ever right where it should be
Nothing of echoes of the past
Nor of whiffs of tomorrow
The prison I build myself has become home
My feet drag me back whenever I try to leave
And I have beaten myself for so long
Every beating now feels like a compliment

I see empty king size beds with jagged edges
Sheets moistened with traces of coldness
The warmth waning steadily like blood on leaching tongues
Partners revising the terms of their union
‘I love you’ now smoked and preserved
Awaits tears at the graveside

Memories still trickle in
Like incessant drips from a faulty tap
Robbing me of my peace of mind
Blames and self loathe diluting my vitality
She says she loved me
I left her stranded at the crossroads
With not a trail to follow
He says friendship changed meaning
Brotherhood got shattered
After series of unmet expectations
Neither brother nor the hood
Showed the same face twice

A sister says he needs her brother back
A mother weeps for a son lost
This path I now tread got thorns in it
But no one heard me cry in the night
I’m at war
But still frightened to free
The prisoner I made myself be