You’re a good rapper but spare us your butt

Saturday was a good day. I violated my typical schedule and went to watch some art spinning at the Kenya National Theatre. I had anticipated to reach at KNT right on time to see the event begin as the performers as I had seen them before were great. Some of the performers that were doing their stuff on Saturday are my personal friends that I have shared with the same platforms and spat on the same mic. I guess I have written about some of them in the past. I was invited by a friend and a fellow spoken word artiste, Femi Bongo Kaya who to me is an artiste that deserves the title as he has never disappointed his fans. The guy is worshiped by words and rhymes serve him coffee as other stylistic devices take refuge just beneath his tongue. I never think twice about attending his events when invited. I wanted to watch every performance, not to miss a thing from the beginning to the end of the show but even before I reach could the venue I ran into some acrobats who were doing some real mind-boggling stuff. I wonder how these people place fire in their mouths but they aren’t burnt. Ever wondered how they ride those one wheeled bicycles? Do they have real bones?

To cut the crap I reached the venue an hour later after the event had commenced but I was still thrilled to watch my favorite artistes do their art. There was Femi, from what I have said you can just assume that his performance was great as it has always been. Then there was Virusi who also left us asking for more but then came the danger, the struggle sent by the creator to save the Rasta youths! Baba Gurston left us humming some wild reggae tunes. The deepest of roots. Forget about this stuff they call riddim that is full of babes, boobs and pussy lyrics that Vybez Cartel has pioneered. I don’t fall for this crap. This is not reggae. It will never be and I can’t listen to such songs. When I choose to listen to a song I have to draw lessons from it. What can Vybz cartel’s songs teach me? That it’s good to live your life as a gangster having 100 women at your disposal, a pistol on your waist, marijuana in your head and money on your mind? No I want more out of life.

Baba Gurston is an artiste who I have never known but that evening he left me humming to his tune. ‘Twas lovely listening to him pour out his heart with such enthusiasm and mastery. All performances went down well until this guy took stage. To tell the truth he is talented and rapped sense in his lyrics which were very tight but why did he have to show us his butts, what irritates me is that he had a belt but chose to have his trousers on his thighs revealing the sight of his innerwear which was not in good health…he chose not to have it on his waist, why is he adjusting it constantly in our watch? I can’t pay for a performance only to end up watching a man adjusting his pants; I can watch that on you tube! Dear rappers God created your waist for a purpose. I guess it was meant to be where you fasten that trouser and innerwears are not meant for the public that is why they have a prefix inner added to them, please keep it to yourself we don’t care whether it is Gucci, Giorgio Armani or Tommy Hilfiger. Just in case I haven’t known does exposing your pant add some lyrical prowess when you’re on stage? If yes let me know that I may train my eyes to exercise some patience, they are growing tired of seeing all these bruised butts!!!!

Just for fun

Agak KwachI had to do this just to prove to my young friend that we can have our names on the coke can. To tell the truth I wasn’t thrilled by the idea of having my name or anything printed on the can but this boy has been daring me of late. first he mad me join whatsup. he teased me that I stuck to twitter and wordpress coz I didn’t know how to operate whatsup. I joined whatsup to save my ego from his suffocating grip. And now I had to do this to prove coke can take my orders without much ado!

My ego what can’t I do for you?

I Am neither Gay nor a Woman

So I am here just doing my stuff. I have no problem with anyone, it’s just me and my computer my only companion that never get bored with my attitude and foul moods. This is my destiny, enslaved to words. You see I live by words , if words ceased to exist today I would die of hunger. Honestly I can’t stomach the arrogance of Bosses and the unrealistic goals they set for you plus waking up in the night just to arrive to the office on time is worse than prison bars to me. I recently got a call center job with one of the biggest digital TV firms in Kenya , the salary was good and I knew I was for it. After attending the training for three days, I still thought it was the best job for me. A chance to practice all I was taught in PR class but all changed the minute I was to press the tip of my pen on the contract. That form just stood there, no glared at me and as I looked keenly at it I realized how useless it was, whatever they used to make that paper could have been used to make a toilet paper coz that’s what I needed. I wanted the quickest point of egress coz I wasn’t going to explain to anybody why I couldn’t sign the paper. Everybody finished and all eyes roved me , I didn’t have to see her face but I knew the HR was burning maybe with fury or loathe whatever it was. Need I care?

I shoved the paper across the table to her, pocketed my pen and picked my file….there was no way I was trading 6/7 days of my week for papers. In plain language I left the job for I knew it was wickedly availed to enslave this son of a peasant.

Now that is that. Like I began I am just here doing my stuff and then this guy initiates a chat on Facebook. He is not strange to me at all but his conversations are. He sent me a friend request last year and since then he had been busying me with uncalled for chats. It’s now months since he last sent me text but today he decided to break the silence. This doesn’t offend me at all, what I find offensive is that this guy is trying to seduce me to be his lover!

I am not gay nor a woman

Seriously do I bear the slightest resemblance to any female creature in this planet? Or is this guy getting constipated in the mind? I guess he is silently telling me that I should be gay! No. Never. I swear. How can I ever be gay when there are countless beautiful ladies who need men to marry them or at least to make scream when lights dim?

I am not gay

My phone isn’t very good with pictures but I hope you can follow bits of this conversation. If you’re able to get a glimpse of his name, check him on FB and tell him to stop pursuing sexual satisfaction on Facebook. Need I say he is a Ghanaian and I am Kenyan…did he think we’ll be mating on Skype?

I am not gay nor a woman

Formally Employed #TBT

So I have been away for some time and I know I owe you explanations. Yeah I value every person who spares his precious time to read whatever I have written and leave a comment, a like or follow my blog. When I began this blog it was a dumpsite of some sort; a place where I could empty my mind when overwhelmed by bundles of insanity; my stories are not born of creativity, no am not creative- just a little insane. If you haven’t noticed life wouldn’t be life without insanity. However as I went on blogging and reading comments of my readers especially yours, I have changed my opinion about my blog. It is no longer a dumpsite but an oasis from where I can tap life lessons that are changing my perception about life. I read every comment posted and each has always opened my eye in one way or the other and I am forever grateful for your every shared thought. With this gratitude I also feel I ought to fulfill my portion of the bargain…to share with you and always avail content worth your time. Having failed to do this please accept my apologies. Great

Let me now get this done with, I have got a formal employment and being a demanding job (call Center) I am afraid I will not be able to keep my blog as busy as it always is but you can know I won’t stop trying. Back to business I got this piece of broken poem, No, unfinished poem in my old notebook as I was looking for original copies of my certificates. It’s unfinished but I believe even dots when joined can communicate something. I hope you enjoy it.

 

So it was. The sun rises from the east

So do our troubles never cease

They have hurt us but much of the hurt comes from within

Like fingers differ in length

So do we differ in strength

The unachievable goals we set bring torture

You fail you feel a low life

Broken, downcast and distraught

You look at a life once hopeful

Taking a miserable turn

And you cry, you apportion blames

You curse, you complain, you call names!

 

Will we ever see the reality?

That life isn’t just a pursuit of a salary

Just like you I have made strategies

To make a better me 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

#TBT# 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

 

Questioning Fate

I barely know me

I need some sort of a revelation, from he who created me

The things I swore I couldn’t do have become a part of me

The things I hate doing

Things that fill me to the brim with self-loathe

Things hidden beneath my teeth and clothes

 

Sometimes I think my very existence is a mistake

My shoulders are burdened by heavy bundles of blame

For a past that I had no control over

Whoever sowed my seeds maliciously laced them with ounces of shame

 

I am sandwiched between two extremes;

Nobody understands me, neither do I

What am I worth?

I am the color of disappointment,

A definition of failure,

The barren branch of a vine that is chopped and burnt

 

The path to righteousness bruised my shoulders

Vanity found me ugly, couldn’t live in me

Love chose butterflies, fled from the dull me

Behind me trail 99 problems

No one in sight to help me solve them

And I am addicted to things am ashamed to pen…

 

What do I stand for?

For what purpose was I created?

Am I the only one these questions?

 

The Wispers of a Penny

 

THe whisper of a pennyEarly in the morning, late in the night

A penny is whispering, listen and get it right

The racing Cars,the roaring planes all are voices of money

Child if haven’t known, Money is sweeter than honey

 

Money rules the planet

But just keep a few in your wallet

that you may not spend beyond your budget

Strive to save with every shared nugget

 

The Whisper of a penny is in the air, can you hear it

Telling you to save just one out of money you’re given to eat

Just save one and watch it grow in bits

Then buy a piggy bank from all you’ve saved in tins

 

The whisper of penny is in the air, can you hear it

Telling you to stop buying sweets

And reminding you that saving doesn’t make you miserable

But instead makes expensive things affordable

 

Save not only for your skating lessons

But to achieve you wildest Visions

Like owning a Bentley car

And living your life like a star

 

Save          Save                 Save

For with savings…………….

You can buy a car

You can own a mansion

you can buy a yacht

And people will look at you and wonder….

How you built all that from scratch.